I never thought that someone could be on your mind 24/7... I mean how can a person be laced into you thoughts through the entire day? But it's happening to me... and I hate it. But sometimes it's good, when they are good memories of the person. I guess I'd rather her be in my thoughts than no where at all.

          I love 6am when it's a foggy mist. My brain isn't quite awake and the flowers are just uncurling. The sun shines strongly through the trees, only to be swallowed by the fog. Every time you breath you feel the cold run through your brain and down through you and it comes out warm, making a puff of life. It's quiet outside. You can hear the sparrows rustling in the bushes and the sound of your feet gracing the side walk. A settle wind pushes the fog across your flushed cheek and you have your hands in your pockets. It feels as if life has stopped for a second and that it's just you and nature. I would go insane without nature. I'd go insane without silence.  I like 6am, before I have to face the day.

When you are deprived of laughing, and you finally get to again, its the best feeling in the world. Someone very special to me was the person who could make me laugh no matter what. Now I don't have her anymore, so its hard to find things that make me happy. When I do laugh, I think of her and laugh harder, rembering our inside jokes and her contagious laugh. When I laugh I let my guard down, so I usually cry, because nothing is better than feeling alive when you are living somewhere you don't want to be.

It's strange to me how a person can be the reason you try hard, the reason you take pride. Its strange to me how comfortable we get and then things change and we flail. It's strange to me how we see things coming, yet we don't prepare ourselves for them. It's strange to me that I find this strange, because its human nature.